≈≈≈

it's been awhile since the last time i felt this way.
i just feel like pouring out my entire life story to anyone who will listen right now.
but there's really no one i really want to talk to.  

so here i am, lying here in bed, reminiscing about the days when i felt so alive. 
this is not healthy, i'm pretty sure.
  
well as a human, you have to always be moving forward.

they say, you have to stop and look around once in a while.
and if you don't, you'll miss everything.

i'm not so sure if i am looking around or just looking straight back right now. 
  
i've always been trying to be a better person. i am, really.
i'm trying really, really hard.

but well, to be honest, i don't regret anything in the past.
because the past is what makes us who we are right now.

sure, i'd be happier if could take away all of the terrible things that i did.


but if i did, i'd never learn.

"as he lies in his bed, he pictures all of the nights when he still felt alive."